It relates to winter, so I thought it was fitting:
"dear whoever is reading this"
and thats how the letter began. i paused for a second before continuing. i knew that jeremy would've paused when writing, so i knew that i too should pause.
"dear whoever is reading this.
hello, and thank you for your time.
first and foremost, i have 3 distinct memories of winter.
first: i am sitting in the skate park. my two best friends in the world are there, so is the man i loathe more than anyone. the ties between all these people were so intense and too complex that now they lie in utterly shattered and thoroughly irreparable ruins. this could be considered foreshadowing.
i dont know why this stands out in my mind. there may have been snow falling.
i dont know.
i remember he(the one i loathed) did something, and i looked to one best friend with outrage written plain across my face. the one i loathed noticed, and proffered some excuse. this taught me to guard my face.
secondly: i'm standing on a street corner. you are standing with me. we are waiting. (by you, i do not of course mean whoever may be reading this (my respects to you), but i mean you, the girl i stood with.) i do not recall what we are waiting for, i just remember i offered my jacket to you. and we stood there.
conversation flew in static bursts. carols came forth in a garble that only we could find funny.
this taught me something, i'm sure it did. i dont know what yet.
lastly: "
here he had taken a sharpie and skewered his final point in a long black, finite line, leaving behind only one indented stanza:
"i've grown feeble and tired of the world,
and I long to smell the sea
the sea.."
i had the tune in my head now. i knew this song. from somewhere. it stuck out like that word on the tip of your tongue, the dream that you had last night.
it was there, waiting in the ethereal reaches of my mind.
i read on:
"in my time here on this earth i've learned a few things that i believe to be completely concrete:
the main one being that what i think i know about things that cannot be measured are quite possibly entirely untrue. therefore what i just said may very well be the ramblings of a mad man.
self-doubt aside.
another thing i've learned is that no matter how much you"
here he had crossed out you, replaced it with i, then we, and finally
"one may gather self-confidence, self-doubt will always have that foothold. it can be lurking anywhere, in any or all facets of life, waiting to blast what you thought of yourself into oblivion. what you thought you knew about friendship was so thoroughly armored in assurance that you forgot to check the ground it was standing on. thus, it fell to a quicksand of impatience.
but i digress. well, i assume i need to. the official point is this: i'm leaving. dont try to find me."
oh. i stopped.
i reread up to that point.
"now that the main point is in the open, i may digress back to my prior distraction.
what i think i know. i thought i knew love. as arrogant as that sounds coming from a 21 year old, i would like to say that i was, for a while, blissfully ignorant of human nature. i was so caught up in endorphins and indefinite s that i couldnt see her selfishness staring me blankly in the eye."
me? no.
"i've learned to not put trust in a sweater to keep you warm, no matter what the weatherman says. i've learned that there is more bad in this world than good. i dont know how it still spins.
gravity will always win.
i think thats all i can divulge at this point.
but, as i was saying. said. i am going away. do not try to find me. and do not worry. i will be back one day, but till then, dont try to find me. that would ruin it.
the mystery for me. and you. the dear reader.
much love"
his unintelligible signature danced beneath his drawn-out and spacey goodbye.
i looked out the window.
and sipped my tea.
and waited.
and thats how the letter began. i paused for a second before continuing. i knew that jeremy would've paused when writing, so i knew that i too should pause.
"dear whoever is reading this.
hello, and thank you for your time.
first and foremost, i have 3 distinct memories of winter.
first: i am sitting in the skate park. my two best friends in the world are there, so is the man i loathe more than anyone. the ties between all these people were so intense and too complex that now they lie in utterly shattered and thoroughly irreparable ruins. this could be considered foreshadowing.
i dont know why this stands out in my mind. there may have been snow falling.
i dont know.
i remember he(the one i loathed) did something, and i looked to one best friend with outrage written plain across my face. the one i loathed noticed, and proffered some excuse. this taught me to guard my face.
secondly: i'm standing on a street corner. you are standing with me. we are waiting. (by you, i do not of course mean whoever may be reading this (my respects to you), but i mean you, the girl i stood with.) i do not recall what we are waiting for, i just remember i offered my jacket to you. and we stood there.
conversation flew in static bursts. carols came forth in a garble that only we could find funny.
this taught me something, i'm sure it did. i dont know what yet.
lastly: "
here he had taken a sharpie and skewered his final point in a long black, finite line, leaving behind only one indented stanza:
"i've grown feeble and tired of the world,
and I long to smell the sea
the sea.."
i had the tune in my head now. i knew this song. from somewhere. it stuck out like that word on the tip of your tongue, the dream that you had last night.
it was there, waiting in the ethereal reaches of my mind.
i read on:
"in my time here on this earth i've learned a few things that i believe to be completely concrete:
the main one being that what i think i know about things that cannot be measured are quite possibly entirely untrue. therefore what i just said may very well be the ramblings of a mad man.
self-doubt aside.
another thing i've learned is that no matter how much you"
here he had crossed out you, replaced it with i, then we, and finally
"one may gather self-confidence, self-doubt will always have that foothold. it can be lurking anywhere, in any or all facets of life, waiting to blast what you thought of yourself into oblivion. what you thought you knew about friendship was so thoroughly armored in assurance that you forgot to check the ground it was standing on. thus, it fell to a quicksand of impatience.
but i digress. well, i assume i need to. the official point is this: i'm leaving. dont try to find me."
oh. i stopped.
i reread up to that point.
"now that the main point is in the open, i may digress back to my prior distraction.
what i think i know. i thought i knew love. as arrogant as that sounds coming from a 21 year old, i would like to say that i was, for a while, blissfully ignorant of human nature. i was so caught up in endorphins and indefinite s that i couldnt see her selfishness staring me blankly in the eye."
me? no.
"i've learned to not put trust in a sweater to keep you warm, no matter what the weatherman says. i've learned that there is more bad in this world than good. i dont know how it still spins.
gravity will always win.
i think thats all i can divulge at this point.
but, as i was saying. said. i am going away. do not try to find me. and do not worry. i will be back one day, but till then, dont try to find me. that would ruin it.
the mystery for me. and you. the dear reader.
much love"
his unintelligible signature danced beneath his drawn-out and spacey goodbye.
i looked out the window.
and sipped my tea.
and waited.
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