The Oscars and Vulnerability

I think I am very much like a computer in some regards. When there is too much going on, too many processes happening, too many systems running, I freeze and shut down.

And like a computer, I have a limited ability to help myself. I can defragment my mind, move everything to the proper shelf. Sometimes though, the problems are too deep for a simple reboot to solve, and I need external help.

I don't like external help.

It makes me feel vulnerable.

Vulnerability makes me want to throw up. Not that I think it's disgusting, but when I realize I'm in a vulnerable position, I feel the bile waiting for an opportunity to race up my throat and out my mouth, as if to punish it for making me vulnerable.

Vulnerability and vomit. So alliterate.

I put myself in a vulnerable position this weekend, and I'm still not sure why. I also was experiencing a system overload, so the two compounded have made for an interesting emotional cocktail.

I'm not sure how this fits in with the Academy Awards. I think they're just symbolic of the crowning achievements of escapism. The entire concept is actually a bit inane.

"Oh, lets give statues and prestige to people for doing something well."

That part makes sense.

"Lets broadcast it internationally because it will impact the lives of millions who are watching."

Wait, what?

There really is no reason to watch the Oscars, let alone cheer when a movie you like wins something, but still, we do.

I'm not even saying it's bad. Its just rather weird, all things considered.

Actually, considering that all things cannot be thought of, let alone thought about, it's probably not that weird.

I'm not sure where the point of this went.

I need a new OS.