Tertiary

I feel like my postings have gone downhill in their interest level.

But that's because I feel trapped in an in-between stage. I feel neither here nor there. Like I've lost something, but I'm holding a map to finding a better something, I just need to find North.

I always assumed getting my license would herald some sort of epic change. But. Nothing. I have no new insights. Only thing that really happens is that I misplace my phone more.

I helped out at a youth retreat this weekend, which was uncharacteristic of me (I thought), but I did it because I had no reason to say no, and I thought it would be fun. It was fun, but I thought it would be the sort of fun that makes me re-evaluate the world I live in and would leave a lasting impression. I haven't had something like that in a while. A catalyst for a mind-shift. I normally get a new perspective on life every few months, a new focus, a new issue to wrestle with.

But nothing seems to be shaping in the murk of the back of my head. I feel like I'm running in circles. My sister had to do a paper on Myers-Briggs Typology for her psych class, so I helped her since I was heavily into it at the beginning of the year. I went back and reread mine (ENTP) and it made a bit more sense, but I realized how much I haven't changed. I've become entrenched in a mindset, a lifestyle. I can't think of how to change it, or what would come of a change, or why I even should.

I'm not even sure if this is a legitimate issue or just something that I'm giving myself to gnaw on between real issues.

I'm not blue, I'm not purple, I'm in that realm beyond easy labeling, the blue-purple, the red-oranges.

I'm tertiary.