A friend of mine posted this recently: and it inspired me to write down the thoughts that I've been having on this topic of late.
In preparation for writing this blog I went for a run in order to clear my mind. Didn't work. The question of identity is so multi-layered and ubiquitous that attacking it directly is something saved best for dissertations, not blogs.
So, rather than go broad scope, I'm focusing in on the idea of Labels.
Google defines a label as: "a brief description given for purposes of identification."
Not only do they identify, they dehumanize.
On Friday in my Hollywood vs History class we were discussing the Rwanda Genocide, and it occurred to me that humans don't kill humans. Or rather, humans don't kill people they view as equals; they kill people that they think they are either better than or people that they think are worse than they are (while that sounds repetitive there is a difference).
Case in point: The Hutu's didn't kill other Hutu's. They killed "Tutsi Cockroaches." An entire race was assigned an identifier, a label of being worse than those labeling.
Rather than asking ourselves 'how could one human being do this to another," we should rather try and understand how one human could come to view another as so much less than human.
This may sound rather obvious, but how does this start? How can someone go from a human to a cockroach?
We see things like this everyday, particularly in high school. "She's a prep, he's a jock, I'm a nerd, they're the guidos, and Terrence is the outcast." Labels carry with them connotations, and these connotations allow us to have fully realized views on someone we have never interacted with based on just a few choice syllables describing one aspect of their personality.
(This is ignoring the issue of deconstruction and inability to efficiently convey meaning precisely; When person A says says that person C is 'Stylish,' person B automatically thinks of all the people they view as 'Stylish' and assigns person C some of these characteristics, when in fact person A has a different view and opinion on 'Stylish,' and the meaning is lost to subjective interpretation).
Aside from the above issue of us not even properly understanding the sayer's intent of these labels, when we hear and accept a label, we attach thoughts and views to The Labelled that detract from who they are as a human being.
The more I get to know someone, the harder it is for me to describe them. My closest friends are the most enigmatic people I know. But I can easily place strangers in a box and assume things about them based on a few scant pieces of information. People are infinite paradoxes, and the shear potential of them is staggering.
Now, some might read this and think "This is stupid. ____ is a slut by their own admission. They've said they've done this and everyone knows it." This might be true, but is their entire existence really defined by one word? And if it is, why? How can they exist in a way that allows strangers to know everything about them through one four letter word? What are they so terrified of that they have yet to come into themselves as people?
Labels dehumanize. No one is so shallow that the sum of their being can fit into one word.
We love to try though, because labels make life easy. Interacting with strangers is eerie, so if we can delude ourselves into thinking that we know those around us based on the adjectives we paste onto them, then we feel comfortable because we 'know' them.
Same goes for self. We adopt the labels others give us, because it affords us a sense of familiarity. We can even make it a mantra of sorts. When faced with the question of 'Who are you?" we can just bow our heads and repeat to ourselves "I am the care-giver, I am the care-giver, I am the care-giver".
Really? The sum of you, the magnus opum of who you are, is 'care-giver.' Sure, it might be an important part of how you view yourself (and how others view you), but it is ultimately not you.
Since I've painted Labels as obviously negative, the question then changes from "Who do you define yourself as" to "How do you define yourself?"
Simply put, don't.
Stop saying this person is that, that person is this and you are something.
Humans do this to everything. We find similar traits and spank a label on it so we can understand it in contrast. Musical Genres, Dewey Decimal System, Church Denominations... Science even bothers to break it down in the order of kingdom, division, class, order, family, genus and finally species.
As a species, we need to understand. Labeling allows us this, especially where people aren't involved, but introduce humans into the equation and it takes away from interpersonal growth. Getting to know someone when we can have preconceived notions of them is like trying to eat a sandwich that's wrapped in plastic wrap. Gross, rather difficult and not at all the right flavour.
We must first peel away the plastic preconceptions of peoples personalities, then we can get down to the meat of their being.
